happy 4th birthday little dude

dear little dude-
today you turn 4 years old. we have been counting down the days since august when your baby brother had his 1st birthday and you wanted to know when it was going to be time for your birthday. you patiently waited while mommy had her birthday, daddy had his birthday, your cousin "e" had her birthday, AND we had thanksgiving. every day for the last 25 days or so, you've torn off a sheet on your birthday countdown. every day you're so excited.

i cannot begin to explain my love for you. it took you quite some time to come into our lives. i prayed for you, i cried for you, i laid in bed many nights wondering why you weren't with us. we did everything possible to bring you into this world and i cannot even begin to tell you how worth it you are. worth the tears, the heart-ache, the years, the money, the drugs, the countless shots. i'd do it all over again if i had to.....in a heartbeat.

you are such an amazing kid. from the moment you were born you were easy. you slept well. you ate well. you entertained yourself while i started up this business of mine. you're still easy. when other moms ask me how i dealt with the terrible two's, potty training, or other common childhood issues, i'm afraid they're all going to hate me when i tell them that we didn't have to deal with any of that. of course you have your moments. every kid does. but for the most part you're truly easy. of course i want to take credit for it and say it was all good parenting, but in all honesty, you were a good student. it was easy to teach you right from wrong. it still is. i'm so proud of the boy you've become.

you're wise beyond your years. so smart that i often wonder where all of this knowledge is coming from. you have such an amazing brain. you can put a puzzle together like nobody's business. you build lego sets meant for children twice your age with no hesitation....you just open the instruction manual and go at it. you remember random facts from over a year ago that even we had forgotten. i am so curious as to what you're going to do with this brain of yours. what will you be when you "grow up"?

you're a perfectionist like me. you have been since infancy. you're a creature of habit and things have to be a certain way. routine and consistency are your best friends. every day for lunch, it's peanut butter an jelly sandwiches with slices of banana tucked in (toasted of course). you eat fruit like it's going out of style. and of course, you need to consume these things in the right order. fruit first while your sandwich cools down from being toasted, then the sandwich, then your "special treat" of a few peanuts, and a few goldfish to finish the meal off. it's like clockwork. dinner is more of a challenge since we force you to eat whatever daddy and i are having for dinner. it's ok if the items are in their pure form. however, mix a few ingredients together and it's the end of the world. casseroles, forget it.

i could go on and on writing about you and your quirks. the things that make you, you. most of all though, i just want you to know you are loved. you are loved more than you could ever begin to understand.

happy birthday little man.
mommy